I’m not a big fan of having to wait too long in line (more than 10 minutes) to get into a venue. To avoid this I’ll usually arrive early so I don’t have to stand in the queue (and if I have to at least being early puts me closer to the front of the line). But this post isn’t about waiting in line. It’s about what to do when you get in early and the place is empty - especially if you’re rolling out solo.
If I’m at a club or lounge that I’ve never been to, then I’ll familiarize myself with the place. This is important because if you have the intent of meeting a girl or moving her off the dance floor you’ll need to know where to take her. It’s not a good idea to wander aimlessly through the club with her. Doing this may make her uncomfortable and she just may change her mind about being with you.
With that in mind, I’ll map out the place in my head: where can we sit and talk where it’s not too loud; is there anywhere to sit that’s not reserved for bottle service; if I need to get a drink, is there a bar that doesn’t get as busy; is there an outdoor patio to cool off and get some air; is there something in the club that would be cool to show the girl. You get the picture. Figure out logistics to make getting to know the girl you just met easier.
Having your phone with you can keep you company. While I’m waiting for things to get bumping I’ll text message people. Even if I don’t have anyone to text I’ll pretend I’m texting or just go through old messages. Another thing you can do is pretend you’re talking to someone on the phone (if you’ve no one to call). Strange I know, but if you’re uncomfortable with being alone at least this gives everyone the impression that you could be waiting for someone.
Getting a drink at the bar and/or chatting up random people (the bartender, barback, other patrons, the Dj, etc.) helps keep you from closing up before the night really gets going. Just try not to get drunk early! Seriously, it’s a great idea to get yourself talking early on - it keeps you from getting too much into your head and worrying what other people may be thinking about you. It’s also a great opportunity to get to know the key employees of the venue, especially the Dj and the doormen. Knowing them can make it easier to get into the venue in the future. As an added bonues, you’ll have someone to talk to next time you’re there.
Avoid sitting down and closing yourself off, mentally and physically. Mentally, don’t worry about people’s impression of you just because you may be alone. Chances are you’ll never see them again. They don’t know if you’ll be by yourself the entire night or if your entourage will be arriving in an hour. Physically, don’t be afraid to take up room especially if the club is still empty. If you’re seated at a couch feel free to put your arm(s) on the back of the couch, slouch into the couch more, and even sit with your legs apart. Convey that you’re comfortable being alone. But don’t sit there with your eyes closed - people may think you’re sleeping or rolling on something.
Arriving at a club early and by yourself can be an uncomfortable experience at first but it does get easier. Eventually you’ll get to a point where you can just grab a drink, take a seat, and chill out by yourself while you wait for the club to go off.
Got questions? Drop me a comment and I’ll get back to you. Or if you have any suggestions for future topics, then leave a comment as well.
Cool post! I didn’t ever think of doing those things. I like the phone tip and pretending to be on it! Can you talk more about dancing by yourself? Alot of my friends don’t dance so sometimes I’ll have to dance by myself. I feel like a chode sometimes when I don’t have anyone to dance with. Thanks alot! I hope you keep adding more to your blog.
Arriving early AND being the first up on the dance floor is a huge DHV. You don’t have to dance like JT, just look like you are having fun. You’ll be noticed.
It sez you are a leader. Just sayin.
Dancing aside for a moment, the early hours of the night are also your best chance to build social connections. If you’re alone it helps to have a few groups in the bar you can bounce in and out of. Don’t overstay your welcome but make an effort to at least say hi to a few groups that look like they’re having a good time. Wish them well and walk away before it gets awkward. Remember that early part of the night is also when people are meeting up with their friends, they may not want to deal with a stranger trying to get to know them.
But plant a few seeds and then go do your own thing for a while. Dance a while, and let yourself be seen having a good time. Those seeds you planted early in the night will pay off big time later in the night.